Monday, June 25, 2007

mmmmmmmm, forbidden doughnut

Well hello there happy reader, and welcome back to my life. I've been on a bit of a hiatus, but it's time to get back to this thing we call Billy's Colon. Since it's been a while, I have a few things to tell you about, so this one will be a doozy.

Let's start with recapping this last weekend; Dave...drinking...Jody and David and Eileen and Karen ... rehersal ... Tom and Maggie ... drinking ... Jon ... bikes ... drinking ... James ... wedding ... drinking ... Marci ... drinking ... pizza ... pass out ... 4 hour drive to a graduation/birthday party. There were lots of other people, too many names to remember though. Might have something to do with the drinking. Oh, it was a wonderful weekend.

'Lil Jody is a pal from back in the college days. This past Saturday she wed a lovely young bloke by the name of David and the two of them were kind enough to invite me to the festivities. It was a reunion of sorts; there were quite a few people who I haven't seen since those wonderful haze ridden days at Bethany. I was unbelievably happy to see them all again. Back in the day, some I hung out with, Jon, Tom and Maggie (though it took Tom a while to remember me, you sick sick bastard) and some who were passing acquaintances, but have now become quick and close friends, James and Marci. I really could go on and on about how great it was to be with these people and tell you about all the fun we had, but that would just take too long. Since this is my little place to talk about cancer, let me tell you a cancer story about this weekend.

Ok, so now I get it. I've mentioned a few times that I feel like sometimes people don't quite get that I have cancer, that when I'm well I feel like it's hard for people to understand what is going on. Well now I can see why, and Marci be her name. I'm sure that there had to be more than one occasion when our paths crossed during our tour of duty in the Ohio Valley, though neither of us could recall specific incidents. Our times there overlapped for about a semester, but as the school was at most, populated by 800 students, there simply must have been a party or event we both attended. She is a wonderfully happy, scary smart, and absolutely adorable woman! During our far too brief reunion this weekend she made me laugh, made me think, made me trickle a bit of beer through my nose. As if there wasn't enough about those couple of days that added quality to my life, those baby blues of hers would have been worth the trip alone. And oh, did I mention, Marci beat cancer!!!??!!!! Yup, 10 years my junior, and she has had to fight the fight as well. She has a fantastic attitude about her battle. She's strong, and optimistic, and has a great sense of humor about it. I know that there have been times, plenty of times, that she has been a mere shell, a hairless zombie tossing her cookies from dawn til dusk, but I never would have known as James, Dave, Marci and myself sat, laughing our asses off, eating pizza at 3 am, curbside, listening to the crash of the Atlantic. Surely Marci and I want this to be our lives, we don't want people to treat us differently, and it is a triumph that we can exist in a world where it is hard for someone to look at us and know our bodies have betrayed us. Marci, for the glimpse of what it is like to see me from the other side, and for so many other things you brought to me in that brief 24 hours, I thank you. I hope we don't wait another 10 years for pizza.

This weekend's harried whirlwind of activity has been indicative of my life for the last month. I have been hanging out down the shore with good friends, where I met a lovely bartender with whom I'm quite smitten. I've been very busy with a new position at work. I think I'm really going to enjoy the new job, though for now it is a bit daunting. Those of you who know me well, know that the challenge is what I'm going to enjoy the most. I've also been in the process of moving to a new apartment in Bayonne. I'm going to be back living all on my own. Though I do love Vinny like a brother, and for the most part I've lived without him for the last few months, I am looking forward to being on my own again.

But. Let me repeat that. BUT as was expected, there's a small roadblock on the horizon. I was having such a good time pretending that the last 3 years were nothing more than an illusion, and then today I took a peek at my calender for the next couple of weeks. Guess what's coming up folks. It's a CAT scan!!! That ugly little test that over the last few years has given me plenty of anxious and sleepless nights. The test will be on July 9th, which means I should get the results around the 13th. FRIDAY the 13th. I know, I know, that is a silly superstition, but I feel still worth mentioning. I'm not by any means convinced that the news on FRIDAY THE 13th will be bad, but I'm not counting it out either. I don't feel like I have any new growth, but I also didn't know for quite some time about the original tumor. I have plenty to keep my mind occupied for the next couple of weeks with moving and work, so perhaps the wait won't be too bad.

The last surgeries took a toll on my digestive tract, and I'm sure I'm not helping by living like I've never even had a cold, but that is me. You know that. You know me.

So, for now, that about wraps it up. Life is pretty good, even with the occasional stomach cramp. I'm going to try and write some more. Some more poetry, some more blogs, maybe some letters. I want you all to know that I always deeply appreciate that you check up on me!! I've been quite lucky to have this support system. I'll keep you updated on the next CT exam.

Billy