In order to help me through some of the tougher issues, I'm going to see a shrink next week. This will be my first time in therapy. I've come up with a list of things I might tell the doctor in order to keep this interesting. Let me know if you have any more ideas.
- I love my sister. No doc, I LOVE my sister
- I have this dream where I'm flying around on a huge cigar and the landscape looks like it was painted by Georgia O'Keefe
- I sometimes, loudly and abruptly, cluck like a chicken
- I wear diapers. Not that I need them, I just think they look cool
- Are you talking upside down?
- BWAAAAAK
- When I was a little boy my "Uncle" Charlie use to tell me "pants are for sissies"
- I have trouble remembering things, like the combination to the lock on my door at the Pentagon
- I have spirit, yes I do! I have spirit, how 'bout you!?
- My favorite color is couch.
- Seven!!!!!!
- I maintain I was NOT on the grassy knoll!
7 comments:
Don't forget to constantly refer to your favorite holiday "St. Swithin's Day"
I would throw in a couple of revolutionary war cries.
What about breaking into song with a good old fashioned slavery spiritual.
I am sure if you just flat out tell him about some of the things we all did when we had a few drinks in us all back in the day - he/she will defintely look at you funny - or just start talking to the invisible person in the room commenting about the docotor - that always worked for me...oppps...my padded room was pink!
that comment above was mine - sorry hit the wrong key
Ask the doc if you will be able to play the piano when all this over. You should get some return for all this trouble.
Try breaking into song using a childlike voice. That should definitely get you some extra session time.
if he says something challenging, look at him and cry out "what the deuce?" in a British accent like Stewie.. Tell him that before all this you used to be really indecisive but that now you're not so sure... then tell him that on certain drug combinations you lie awake at night wondering what Occasional Furniture does the rest of the time..
Wear a t-shirt that says, "My Oncologist Can Beat up My Shrink."
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