Monday, July 30, 2007

Ward, you were a little hard on the Beaver last night

Good news friends, I didn't have to go to chemo today!

Oh wait....this is me we're talking about. Hmmmm There has to be a catch.

The summer started out promising, looking like I was going to be able to enjoy a few months of cancer free fun. But of course nastiness reared its head once again and the cancer slithered out from behind whatever rock it called home. It was a rough couple of weeks there. I was pretty angry. I was scared. I wasn't sure how I was going to make it through another round of chemo. But I've been through this before. I retreated for a bit, but came out the other end. As always I settled on the "it could be worse" approach and steeled myself for another round of sickening medicine. I was ok with it, as much as anyone could be. But then, oh yes then, right then, there were the stones. The pain that I'm having in my abdomen, blinding body doubling pain which leads to projectile vomiting, is being induced by gallstones. This is an issue that has to be resolved before I can start chemo.

"Oh Billy, that's not too bad" you say? "They can do that with a scope and a small incision" you think? Well, first off let's just say that ENOUGH IS ENOUGH already. Cancer, infections, adhesions, more cancer, more infections and now gallstones????

To top it off, my surgeon is not sure that he can remove my gallbladder with a laparoscope. Seems that the abundance of surgeries I've already have may have left far too much scar tissue right in the path that he would normally use. Chances are pretty good that I'll be back on the operating table by the end of the week, flayed open once again.

I'm not beaten yet, not much. But I have to ask; How much longer to I have to be upbeat? Why do I have to "look on the bright side"? Why is it necessary to "keep my chin up", "fight the good fight", "don't give up"?

Stay tuned. I'm sure there's more good news to come. (yes, that was dripping with sarcasm)

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I wish I had some good words for you Billy, but you used up all the good cliches in your post.

'Darkest before the dawn...'
Hah, I don't think you used that one.
So, here you go:

The darkest hour is that before the dawn.—Hazlitt: English Proverbs.