As many of you may know, today was D-day with my oncologist. I was to get the results of my latest cat scan and discuss the next round of chemo. I was not really looking forward to this. I haven't slept well in the last week. Plus I was having a really good time the last month and a half, being able to forget that I have cancer.
Well my friends and friendettes, great news!!! My scan came back clean. Now, this doesn't mean the cancer is gone, but it does mean that it's not growing anything new. Also, my doctor decided to hold off on the chemo. He feels that since I'm in no immediate need right now, and that I'm still healing from the last surgeries, and we don't want to use up all the drugs which would reduce their efficacy, that I should wait before we start anything. My next scan is in two months. Oh, we also decided that we would do scans every two months rather than every four so that we can catch the next tumors earlier.
So....I have at least a couple of more months to enjoy!!! And, if all goes well next scan, that should bring me all the way through the summer. This is going to be a GREAT summer!!! I can't wait to see everyone at Jody's wedding.
This has been a great week for news. On top of the cancer news, I found out I have a new position at work, which I really wanted and look forward to.
I'll post more, soon I hope. But for now I'm just going to be ridiculously happy and enjoy the time I have!
Thursday, May 17, 2007
Thursday, May 10, 2007
Poem
It's been a while since I've written something. This popped out after a curious image flashed across my tv for a couple of seconds.
remember when our world was in black and white?
when the days were free
and we played at night
the streets our world
in children's sight
it all seemed big
and lamps shone bright
remember when our world was in black and white?
remember when our world was in black and white?
when grown-ups were giant
and we hid from their sight
we tumbled and laughed
and played polite
we phoned with cups
with string pulled tight
remember when our world was in black and white?
remember when our world was in black and white?
we worried over candy
used pillows to fight
we stressed over the loss
of a ball or a kite
we feared the closet
and kept on the light
remember when our world was in black and white?
remember when our world was in black and white?
next week was too distant
our birthday far from sight
santa took for ever
to visit us that night
there was no week, or month or year
there was just good night
remember when our world was in black and white?
remember when our world was in black and white?
we tumbled off our skates
or fell from short height
a simple hug and kiss
would make it all alright
finding that lost toy
would fill us with delight
remember when our world was in black and white?
remember when our world was in black and white?
our universe was in our home
the walls held us tight
our moms held the court
our dads played the knight
our sisters on our left
our brothers on our right
remember when our world was in black and white?
remember when our world was in black and white?
when the days were free
and we played at night
the streets our world
in children's sight
it all seemed big
and lamps shone bright
remember when our world was in black and white?
remember when our world was in black and white?
when grown-ups were giant
and we hid from their sight
we tumbled and laughed
and played polite
we phoned with cups
with string pulled tight
remember when our world was in black and white?
remember when our world was in black and white?
we worried over candy
used pillows to fight
we stressed over the loss
of a ball or a kite
we feared the closet
and kept on the light
remember when our world was in black and white?
remember when our world was in black and white?
next week was too distant
our birthday far from sight
santa took for ever
to visit us that night
there was no week, or month or year
there was just good night
remember when our world was in black and white?
remember when our world was in black and white?
we tumbled off our skates
or fell from short height
a simple hug and kiss
would make it all alright
finding that lost toy
would fill us with delight
remember when our world was in black and white?
remember when our world was in black and white?
our universe was in our home
the walls held us tight
our moms held the court
our dads played the knight
our sisters on our left
our brothers on our right
remember when our world was in black and white?
Monday, May 07, 2007
And here we go again...
For the last month or so I have been having the time of my life. It's been the healthiest point of the last two and a half years. I've gone to AC a couple of times, hung out with many friends, and even took a quick trip to Europe (see the previous blog). I've come to live my life in the spaces in between. In the times between chemo and surgery. In the time between hospitals and home rest. In the times between symptoms and not.
I had a cat scan today. The last one, in March, was clean. This one was a prelude to my next visit with my oncologist. He wants to know how things are looking before we start chemo again. Yup, that's right, chemo.
I've mentioned this before, but it bears repeating. Sometimes I think it's difficult for people who know me to understand the actual enormity of my disease. And believe me, it has nothing to do with them. It's just that I see them when I'm well, in those spaces, and when I'm well, it is difficult to imagine that there is anything wrong with me. Most people don't see me at the worst. The only indication they get of insidiousness of the cellular junkyard that is my abdominal cavity is this here blog. The fact is that I still, and pretty much will forever, have cancer. It doesn't look like it's going anywhere. I just have to keep beating it back and keep it a bay.
The next few days will bring some anxiety, a couple of sleepless nights, and more than a few fruit flavored Tums.
I should have the results by the end of this week, or the beginning of next. I'll let ya know what happens so stay tuned and I'll see you back here, same bat time, same bat channel.
I had a cat scan today. The last one, in March, was clean. This one was a prelude to my next visit with my oncologist. He wants to know how things are looking before we start chemo again. Yup, that's right, chemo.
I've mentioned this before, but it bears repeating. Sometimes I think it's difficult for people who know me to understand the actual enormity of my disease. And believe me, it has nothing to do with them. It's just that I see them when I'm well, in those spaces, and when I'm well, it is difficult to imagine that there is anything wrong with me. Most people don't see me at the worst. The only indication they get of insidiousness of the cellular junkyard that is my abdominal cavity is this here blog. The fact is that I still, and pretty much will forever, have cancer. It doesn't look like it's going anywhere. I just have to keep beating it back and keep it a bay.
The next few days will bring some anxiety, a couple of sleepless nights, and more than a few fruit flavored Tums.
I should have the results by the end of this week, or the beginning of next. I'll let ya know what happens so stay tuned and I'll see you back here, same bat time, same bat channel.
Oh, I love to go a'wandering
There will only be a little cancer in this post. I got back from Amsterdam last week and this is the tale. Some details have been omitted for brevity's sake. But all the good parts are still there.
Dougie and I arrived in Amsterdam on Saturday morning around 8am and promptly headed to a couple of cold Heinekens. Michele met us at the airport, and we all hung around waiting for other friends to get in from various locales. After we all gathered for a while and said our hellos, Dougie and I were off to another flight, this one to England. We went to Doug's parent's house, and dined with them. Saturday night was spent in the Tap, Dougie's local pub in Abingdon. As we sat around sipping pints, many people came and went and it seemed that every one of them knew Dougie. Every few minutes I could hear, "Dougie! Mate! How have you been?" or "Doug! Welcome back." I shall now and forever refer to him as Lord Dougie, Benevolent and Wise Ruler of Abingdon. Night one, over and out.
After a very late night out I caught a few z's and awoke early for our flight back to Amsterdam.
We relaxed for a little bit and then it was time to start the Queen's Day Marathon. We walked over to Leidseplein to meet up with the Group. The Group, by the way, is an eclectic gathering of anywhere between 20 and 30 people at any given time, representing about half a dozen countries. We've all been friends for years, some longer than others. It's been two years since I've seen most of them (thank you stupid tumor). I would love to tell you all about each and every one of them, but I want to keep this blog manageable. Trust me, they all ROCK! The hugs were given out like candy on Easter, the kisses thrown about liberally, the laughter rang throughout the streets, and the beer poured from every tap. I had to recount my cancer story more than a few times, but I didn't mind a bit. I was incredibly happy to see all these people again and to celebrate the life I have fought for over the couple of years. Later we all went for a lovely dinner at a Japanese hibachi restaurant. Following dinner was rounds at our regular haunt on Leidseplein, the Black and White. Somewhere around 2 in the morning, Dougie, Reede and I headed over to my favorite pub in all of Amsterdam, the Turnpike. There I met up with Swannet, one of the sexiest Dutch women I know (yes Ian, I'm aware she's your wife, but let's be honest here) and Henne, the owner and good friend. Dougie and I stumbled home around 3:30. Night two, in the bag.
Monday was Queen's Day. The Group met up at the Turnpike. Now, let me tell you a little something about the friendship that I share with this gang of people. I met most of them back in 2003, my first ever Queen's Day. Since then we have all remained close in spite of our geographical differences. The last time I saw them all was the following year, just before I got sick. In the time I've been absent, they have all kept in contact and followed my situation. The decision to gather at the Turnpike was for my consideration. Queen's Day is usually spent walking around the entire city visiting various pubs but knowing feeling that the usual journey might be a bit too much for me, and knowing that the Turnpike was my favorite spot, they all decided to hang out there for the day. On top of that, Dougie and Helen (my Australian Queen) arranged for everyone to sport these cool colon cancer tattoos!
As the day wound down we traveled to our traditional Queen's Day dinner spot, The Cafe de Klos. The ribs at the Klos are absolutely epic and worthy of a blog all their own, but for now I will leave it at that.
With our bellies full and the night upon us it was back to Leidseplein. Once again it was a few pints at the Black and White and then over to Bourbon Street. By the time we were partying at Bourbon Street, the gaggle was Reede, Dougie, Hassan and myself along with three very lovely Scottish girls who were friends of friends. We closed the club and Dougie, Reede and I found our way back to the Turnpike. It was somewhere around 4:30 when Dougie and I collapsed back at the flat. Night three, accomplished.
On Tuesday, Dougie and I decided we were not going to stay out too late. The weather was gorgeous and our day began with an Irish breakfast. Later that evening we returned to Leidseplein to catch a very important football match for Dougie's Liverpool squad. After a nail biter Liverpool emerged victorious and the night continued. There was dinner at an Indian restaurant and then back over to Bourbon Street. Dougie and I found our way back to the flat somewhere around 3. So much for not staying out late. Day four, said and done.
There are many other stories to tell. Many other things I could tell you about the wonderful people I was with, but as I've mentioned before, I want to keep this as brief as I can.
Here are two sites with some pictures from Queen's Day.
Gordon's Pictures
Reede's Pictures
Wednesday was the flight home. I miss that place already.
Dougie and I arrived in Amsterdam on Saturday morning around 8am and promptly headed to a couple of cold Heinekens. Michele met us at the airport, and we all hung around waiting for other friends to get in from various locales. After we all gathered for a while and said our hellos, Dougie and I were off to another flight, this one to England. We went to Doug's parent's house, and dined with them. Saturday night was spent in the Tap, Dougie's local pub in Abingdon. As we sat around sipping pints, many people came and went and it seemed that every one of them knew Dougie. Every few minutes I could hear, "Dougie! Mate! How have you been?" or "Doug! Welcome back." I shall now and forever refer to him as Lord Dougie, Benevolent and Wise Ruler of Abingdon. Night one, over and out.
After a very late night out I caught a few z's and awoke early for our flight back to Amsterdam.
We relaxed for a little bit and then it was time to start the Queen's Day Marathon. We walked over to Leidseplein to meet up with the Group. The Group, by the way, is an eclectic gathering of anywhere between 20 and 30 people at any given time, representing about half a dozen countries. We've all been friends for years, some longer than others. It's been two years since I've seen most of them (thank you stupid tumor). I would love to tell you all about each and every one of them, but I want to keep this blog manageable. Trust me, they all ROCK! The hugs were given out like candy on Easter, the kisses thrown about liberally, the laughter rang throughout the streets, and the beer poured from every tap. I had to recount my cancer story more than a few times, but I didn't mind a bit. I was incredibly happy to see all these people again and to celebrate the life I have fought for over the couple of years. Later we all went for a lovely dinner at a Japanese hibachi restaurant. Following dinner was rounds at our regular haunt on Leidseplein, the Black and White. Somewhere around 2 in the morning, Dougie, Reede and I headed over to my favorite pub in all of Amsterdam, the Turnpike. There I met up with Swannet, one of the sexiest Dutch women I know (yes Ian, I'm aware she's your wife, but let's be honest here) and Henne, the owner and good friend. Dougie and I stumbled home around 3:30. Night two, in the bag.
Monday was Queen's Day. The Group met up at the Turnpike. Now, let me tell you a little something about the friendship that I share with this gang of people. I met most of them back in 2003, my first ever Queen's Day. Since then we have all remained close in spite of our geographical differences. The last time I saw them all was the following year, just before I got sick. In the time I've been absent, they have all kept in contact and followed my situation. The decision to gather at the Turnpike was for my consideration. Queen's Day is usually spent walking around the entire city visiting various pubs but knowing feeling that the usual journey might be a bit too much for me, and knowing that the Turnpike was my favorite spot, they all decided to hang out there for the day. On top of that, Dougie and Helen (my Australian Queen) arranged for everyone to sport these cool colon cancer tattoos!
As the day wound down we traveled to our traditional Queen's Day dinner spot, The Cafe de Klos. The ribs at the Klos are absolutely epic and worthy of a blog all their own, but for now I will leave it at that.
With our bellies full and the night upon us it was back to Leidseplein. Once again it was a few pints at the Black and White and then over to Bourbon Street. By the time we were partying at Bourbon Street, the gaggle was Reede, Dougie, Hassan and myself along with three very lovely Scottish girls who were friends of friends. We closed the club and Dougie, Reede and I found our way back to the Turnpike. It was somewhere around 4:30 when Dougie and I collapsed back at the flat. Night three, accomplished.
On Tuesday, Dougie and I decided we were not going to stay out too late. The weather was gorgeous and our day began with an Irish breakfast. Later that evening we returned to Leidseplein to catch a very important football match for Dougie's Liverpool squad. After a nail biter Liverpool emerged victorious and the night continued. There was dinner at an Indian restaurant and then back over to Bourbon Street. Dougie and I found our way back to the flat somewhere around 3. So much for not staying out late. Day four, said and done.
There are many other stories to tell. Many other things I could tell you about the wonderful people I was with, but as I've mentioned before, I want to keep this as brief as I can.
Here are two sites with some pictures from Queen's Day.
Gordon's Pictures
Reede's Pictures
Wednesday was the flight home. I miss that place already.
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