Thursday, February 09, 2006

A bushel and a peck and a hug around the neck

I don't like feet. I really hate those women's shoes wit the 5 inch soles, or wedges. I like grilled cheese sandwiches, but not all the time, I have to be in the mood to eat one. I can't stand reality tv. I love football. I'm not sure if Madison Avenue is responsible for the dumbing down of society or just catering to the majority of it, but either way they need to be held accountable. Scarlett Johannson is beautiful.

A week ago Monday, January 30th, I had another round of IV chemo. Before they begin the regimen I meet with my oncologist to discuss how things are going. My oncologist is wonderful and I really feel like he helped to save my life. He's great. Just wanted to note that, cause he has a sense of humor like mine, so sometimes when it sounds like he's being a horrible doctor, it's just because I'm not writing well enough. This time, as soon as he walked in, I said "I've been thinking, maybe cancer isn't so bad. Maybe we leave it alone and it will go away?" He was unimpressed with my humor. I told him I had a rough time with the first treatment, throwing up for a week straight. He told me "well, you know I want to kick the shit out of this, and to do that we have to kick the shit out of you." He agreed to give me some meds to help with the vomiting.

Last week sucked. Allow me to be less than delicate and far from eloquent and say that it sucked donkey balls. I didn't throw up at all. While the medicine may have helped with that, it's also possible that I did not purge myself because I did not eat a thing for 5 days, partially because I had no appetite, partially because I was afraid to place anything in my stomach that would provoke a revolt. So, upside is no puking, down side is that I've probably lost another 10 pounds and here I am, a week and a half later, and I still barely have the energy to tap out my muddled thoughts. The intolerance to cold is sticking with me longer. I figure I should be over that in a couple of days and then I'm going to consume nothing but water from my refrigerator and ice cold RC Cola until my next injections.

I think, for the time being, my life will just suck, in varying degrees.

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